{"id":6118,"date":"2018-10-17T15:36:23","date_gmt":"2018-10-17T19:36:23","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/?p=6118"},"modified":"2018-10-17T15:36:23","modified_gmt":"2018-10-17T19:36:23","slug":"single-parent-sacrifices","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/single-parent-sacrifices\/","title":{"rendered":"Single-Parent Sacrifices"},"content":{"rendered":"<p>[et_pb_section bb_built=&#8221;1&#8243;][et_pb_row][et_pb_column type=&#8221;4_4&#8243;][et_pb_text]<\/p>\n<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Single-parent Sacrifices<\/h2>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/maramalins.com\/\">Mara Malins<\/a><\/p>\n<p>I think out of the four stories in the <em>INKomplete<\/em> series, <em>INKapable <\/em>was the easiest for me to understand my main character\u2019s motives. Josephina is a rough-around-the-edges, potty-mouthed, independent, sometimes moody, hardworking, intelligent, but most importantly an \u201ceveryday\u201d single mum. She\u2019s not superwoman. She\u2019s not sashaying around the world, beautifully coifed and ready for the day, a smile constantly on her lips, a friendly word for anyone.<\/p>\n<p>No, Joe is <em>exhausted<\/em>. She\u2019s grouchy, stressed, and worrying all the time. She understands that there\u2019s a finite amount of energy for each day\u2026 but she makes that energy stretch as far as she can, trying to meet all of our societies\u2019 expectations for a modern, working woman. She\u2019s holding a full-time career, maintaining and up-keeping her apartment, singlehandedly doing all of the household chores and the upbringing of her little girl, whilst also trying to scrape a little \u201cme time\u201d in.<\/p>\n<p>Don\u2019t we all know an amazing woman like this?<\/p>\n<p>Not perfect but getting by?<\/p>\n<p>For me, it\u2019s my sister. She\u2019s the eldest of my siblings and, without a doubt, the cleverest and strongest of us all. She\u2019s the one we all turn to when we have problems, the shoulder to cry on, the person not afraid to give us a shake when we need shaking. And if any us are threatened, then you better believe that cat has some sharp claws waiting to strike.<\/p>\n<p>My sister is exactly like Joe\u2014juggling a mega career (though in finance and not tattoos!), a beautiful daughter that has never wanted for anything, and her own free time. For ten years she oversaw everything in her world, making sure that every box was ticked, every dance recital was practised for, and all homework was completed and stored away in the homework bag for the next day. Some days she cried from exhaustion\u2026but that doesn\u2019t make her any less strong, because she wiped her tears away and got on with it. She\u2019s a tough cookie.<\/p>\n<p>But there is no doubt that trying to have everything\u2014a job, a family, a home, some me-time\u2014comes at a price. I saw my sister give up ground to a thousand almost-inconsequential parts of herself to make her dream work. They were small sacrifices, not important and barely noticeable, but <em>they were there<\/em>\u2026<\/p>\n<p>Friday night rolls around but there\u2019s no babysitter available and no husband to pick up the slack\u2026 guess who stays at home that night?<\/p>\n<p>She loves roller coasters but on a mummy-daughter day to the park there\u2019s no one to watch daughter whilst she rides the coaster\u2026 so she doesn\u2019t.<\/p>\n<p>There\u2019s a choice between watching that new BBC crime thriller or watching <em>Frozen<\/em> for the thirtieth time\u2026 you can bet my sister doesn\u2019t want to build a snowman.<\/p>\n<p>A new fella starts making eyes. My sister knows immediately that his lifestyle isn\u2019t compatible\u2014no matter how hot she thinks he is. That man doesn\u2019t even get a look in.<\/p>\n<p>Small, inconsequential things that she had to give up daily, hourly, with no complaint. She would say it was a fair trade, giving up those small things to make the big things work, and I agree. She would also say that all parents make sacrifices, and I agree there too. But would she have had to make so many if she wasn\u2019t a single parent?<\/p>\n<p>After ten years of sacrifice and hard-bloody-work, my sister finally found the right someone. Together, they make a great team. She can ride the roller coaster, watch the thriller, or go out on a Friday night because she knows there\u2019s someone watching her back, picking up some of the weight, taking some of the sacrifice.<\/p>\n<p>The point of this rambling blog is that I wanted that for Joe in <em>INKapable<\/em>, but it was important that it was on her terms. There couldn\u2019t be\u2014there <em>shouldn\u2019t<\/em> be\u2014a saviour that would come riding in to save the day. She doesn\u2019t need it. She doesn\u2019t want it. She\u2019s doing all right by herself. Being alone might make it harder, but she\u2019s not afraid to stay single if it\u2019s the right thing to do for her and her daughter. Just another small sacrifice.<\/p>\n<p>There are too many romances out there where the heroine\u2019s life is incomplete until she has a man. I felt that would undermine all the sacrifices that my sister\u2014and other single parents, both mothers and fathers\u2014out there have made if they can only be complete, only be successful, when with someone. It\u2019s not only untrue but it feeds into the stereotype that single parents are somehow weaker because they\u2019re alone.<\/p>\n<p>My sister proves every day that single parents are among the strongest people in the world. They make more sacrifices to make things work. Having her as a role model is why Joe was the easiest character to understand.<\/p>\n<p>&nbsp;<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_image admin_label=&#8221;INKapable Cover&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.12.1&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; src=&#8221;http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/08\/200&#215;300.jpg&#8221; url=&#8221;http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/books\/inkomplete\/2-inkapable\/&#8221; align=&#8221;center&#8221; global_module=&#8221;5928&#8243; \/][et_pb_text admin_label=&#8221;INKapable Buy Links&#8221; _builder_version=&#8221;3.12.1&#8243; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221; global_module=&#8221;5938&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><strong>Reserve Your Copy Now<\/strong><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Amazon (<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2MsqaN2\">US<\/a>) (<a href=\"https:\/\/amzn.to\/2OOZbry\">CA<\/a>) (<a href=\"https:\/\/www.amazon.co.uk\/dp\/B07GL9L5CZ\">UK<\/a>)<\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/itunes.apple.com\/us\/book\/id1430301023\">iBooks<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/www.kobo.com\/ww\/en\/ebook\/inkapable\">Kobo<\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\">Or\u00a0<a href=\"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/books\/inkomplete\/2-inkapable\/\">go here now<\/a>\u00a0to read more<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;3.12.2&#8243;]<\/p>\n<p>As a sweet, sweet bonus, Mara is offering anyone who pre-orders <em>INKapable<\/em> (or any of the final three INKomplete titles) a chance to win this lovely necklace:<\/p>\n<p><a href=\"https:\/\/maramalins.com\/2018\/10\/11\/youre-inkomplete-without-this\/\"><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\"aligncenter size-full wp-image-6119\" src=\"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/necklace_thumb.jpg\" alt=\"\" width=\"348\" height=\"308\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/necklace_thumb.jpg 348w, http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/necklace_thumb-150x133.jpg 150w, http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/10\/necklace_thumb-300x266.jpg 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 348px) 100vw, 348px\" \/><\/a><\/p>\n<p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/maramalins.com\/2018\/10\/11\/youre-inkomplete-without-this\/\">Click here now<\/a> to get all the details and enter to win!<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][et_pb_text _builder_version=&#8221;3.0.105&#8243; background_layout=&#8221;light&#8221; saved_tabs=&#8221;all&#8221;]<\/p>\n<p><img loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" class=\" wp-image-5519 alignleft\" src=\"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Mara.Malins.png\" alt=\"\" width=\"296\" height=\"282\" srcset=\"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Mara.Malins.png 907w, http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Mara.Malins-150x143.png 150w, http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-content\/uploads\/2018\/02\/Mara.Malins-300x285.png 300w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 296px) 100vw, 296px\" \/><\/p>\n<p>Mara Malins writes romantic fiction using words that your grandmother doesn\u2019t know. An avid gamer, she battles spreadsheets by day and fiction by night. She lives in Manchester, England with her menagerie of three cats, two turtles, a social media loving partner, and a disobedient garden. If you want to know when her next fiction is released, or see thousands of pictures of her cats sleeping in a variety of different poses, find her on <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/MaraMalins\">Twitter<\/a>\u00a0or <a href=\"https:\/\/www.goodreads.com\/author\/show\/15367008.Mara_Malins?from_search=true\">Goodreads<\/a>.<\/p>\n<p>[\/et_pb_text][\/et_pb_column][\/et_pb_row][\/et_pb_section]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p><div class=\"et_pb_row et_pb_row_0 et_pb_row_empty\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/div><div class=\"et_pb_module et_pb_text et_pb_text_0  et_pb_text_align_left et_pb_bg_layout_light\">\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t\t\n\t\t\t<\/div> Single-parent Sacrifices Mara Malins I think out of the four stories in the INKomplete series, INKapable was the easiest for me to understand my main character\u2019s motives. Josephina is a rough-around-the-edges, potty-mouthed, independent, sometimes moody, hardworking, intelligent, but most importantly an \u201ceveryday\u201d single mum. She\u2019s not superwoman. She\u2019s not sashaying around the world, beautifully [&hellip;]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_et_pb_use_builder":"on","_et_pb_old_content":"<h2 style=\"text-align: center;\">Single-parent Sacrifices<\/h2><p style=\"text-align: center;\"><a href=\"https:\/\/maramalins.com\/\">Mara Malins<\/a><\/p><p>I think out of the four stories in the <em>INKomplete<\/em> series, <em>INKapable <\/em>was the easiest for me to understand my main character\u2019s motives. Josephina is a rough-around-the-edges, potty-mouthed, independent, sometimes moody, hardworking, intelligent, but most importantly an \u201ceveryday\u201d single mum. She\u2019s not superwoman. She\u2019s not sashaying around the world, beautifully coifed and ready for the day, a smile constantly on her lips, a friendly word for anyone.<\/p><p>No, Joe is <em>exhausted<\/em>. She\u2019s grouchy, stressed, and worrying all the time. She understands that there\u2019s a finite amount of energy for each day\u2026 but she makes that energy stretch as far as she can, trying to meet all of our societies\u2019 expectations for a modern, working woman. She\u2019s holding a full-time career, maintaining and up-keeping her apartment, singlehandedly doing all of the household chores and the upbringing of her little girl, whilst also trying to scrape a little \u201cme time\u201d in.<\/p><p>Don\u2019t we all know an amazing woman like this?<\/p><p>Not perfect but getting by?<\/p><p>For me, it\u2019s my sister. She\u2019s the eldest of my siblings and, without a doubt, the cleverest and strongest of us all. She\u2019s the one we all turn to when we have problems, the shoulder to cry on, the person not afraid to give us a shake when we need shaking. And if any us are threatened, then you better believe that cat has some sharp claws waiting to strike.<\/p><p>My sister is exactly like Joe\u2014juggling a mega career (though in finance and not tattoos!), a beautiful daughter that has never wanted for anything, and her own free time. For ten years she oversaw everything in her world, making sure that every box was ticked, every dance recital was practised for, and all homework was completed and stored away in the homework bag for the next day. Some days she cried from exhaustion\u2026but that doesn\u2019t make her any less strong, because she wiped her tears away and got on with it. She\u2019s a tough cookie.<\/p><p>But there is no doubt that trying to have everything\u2014a job, a family, a home, some me-time\u2014comes at a price. I saw my sister give up ground to a thousand almost-inconsequential parts of herself to make her dream work. They were small sacrifices, not important and barely noticeable, but <em>they were there<\/em>\u2026<\/p><p>Friday night rolls around but there\u2019s no babysitter available and no husband to pick up the slack\u2026 guess who stays at home that night?<\/p><p>She loves roller coasters but on a mummy-daughter day to the park there\u2019s no one to watch daughter whilst she rides the coaster\u2026 so she doesn\u2019t.<\/p><p>There\u2019s a choice between watching that new BBC crime thriller or watching <em>Frozen<\/em> for the thirtieth time\u2026 you can bet my sister doesn\u2019t want to build a snowman.<\/p><p>A new fella starts making eyes. My sister knows immediately that his lifestyle isn\u2019t compatible\u2014no matter how hot she thinks he is. That man doesn\u2019t even get a look in.<\/p><p>Small, inconsequential things that she had to give up daily, hourly, with no complaint. She would say it was a fair trade, giving up those small things to make the big things work, and I agree. She would also say that all parents make sacrifices, and I agree there too. But would she have had to make so many if she wasn\u2019t a single parent?<\/p><p>After ten years of sacrifice and hard-bloody-work, my sister finally found the right someone. Together, they make a great team. She can ride the roller coaster, watch the thriller, or go out on a Friday night because she knows there\u2019s someone watching her back, picking up some of the weight, taking some of the sacrifice.<\/p><p>The point of this rambling blog is that I wanted that for Joe in <em>INKapable<\/em>, but it was important that it was on her terms. There couldn\u2019t be\u2014there <em>shouldn\u2019t<\/em> be\u2014a saviour that would come riding in to save the day. She doesn\u2019t need it. She doesn\u2019t want it. She\u2019s doing all right by herself. Being alone might make it harder, but she\u2019s not afraid to stay single if it\u2019s the right thing to do for her and her daughter. Just another small sacrifice.<\/p><p>There are too many romances out there where the heroine\u2019s life is incomplete until she has a man. I felt that would undermine all the sacrifices that my sister\u2014and other single parents, both mothers and fathers\u2014out there have made if they can only be complete, only be successful, when with someone. It\u2019s not only untrue but it feeds into the stereotype that single parents are somehow weaker because they\u2019re alone.<\/p><p>My sister proves every day that single parents are among the strongest people in the world. They make more sacrifices to make things work. Having her as a role model is why Joe was the easiest character to understand.<\/p><p>\u00a0<\/p>","_et_gb_content_width":"","footnotes":""},"categories":[156],"tags":[188,161,164],"class_list":["post-6118","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-inkapable","tag-enter-to-win","tag-inkapable","tag-mara-malins"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6118","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=6118"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6118\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":6120,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/6118\/revisions\/6120"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=6118"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=6118"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"http:\/\/www.penandkinkpub.com\/home\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=6118"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}